Let Students Manage the College Application Process Themselves

Yesterday I had an opportunity to attend a talk given by an admissions representative from an Ivy League university. He addressed many aspects of the college selection, application, and decision processes, and the meeting was well attended by parents, mostly of high school juniors.

One of his more interesting comments concerned the involvement of today's parents in their children's college choices and applications. A case in point is the parent who speaks for the child when, after a tour, they stop by the school's admissions office and talk to the staff about applying. Another example is the parent who has a heavy hand in writing application essays—or hires someone to assist the student with that often onerous task.

Sitting in the audience, I realized that the talk itself was something that simply wouldn't have occurred in my day and age. Although I attended a top-notch private school, there wasn't a single meeting designed to familiarize and help parents with the college admissions process. Such meetings were reserved for students; although some may have received assistance from their parents with applications, most managed the entire college application process on their own.

This isn't to suggest that parents today shouldn't help or offer assistance—certainly, as the admissions representative noted, parents can be very supportive by helping their children think through goals and clarify the sorts of things that are important to them in a college. But for the choice to be truly a student's own—and for the student to feel excitement and ownership of the final decision—parents must step back and allow their children to explore schools and manage their college applications themselves.