The Myth of the "Perfect" College

By the fall of their senior year, many seniors have narrowed down their college choices and have their hearts set on one particular school. For whatever reason—an intangible "feeling," reputation and prestige, innovative curriculum, family alumni, and so on—a student may decide that one (and only one) college is "perfect."

Why does this happen so often? In part, it can result from an insufficiently wide initial search. Perhaps the student only wants to attend a "top tier" school and isn't open to considering slightly less competitive colleges that might be just as good a fit.

Adolescents, too, are more prone to romanticize, sometimes seeing things through rose-colored glasses. Although this tendency often inspires admirable endeavors, focusing the power of youthful idealism on college choice is risky. Each year thousands of students are crushed when they don't get into their first-choice school, and the effects of this heartbreak can sometimes last a lifetime.

What can parents do when their child has fallen in love with a school? First, try to impress upon the student that no college is perfect. Just like people, all schools have their good points and bad points—perfection is a myth. Point out possible shortcomings of the top-choice school.

Second, actively seek out and thoroughly investigate alternative choices. Encourage the student to remain as open-minded as possible and to create a list of schools with similar features.

Finally, talk to students at all the colleges a student is considering. Visit as many schools as possible and try to stay a while. If in-person visits aren't possible, find a way to connect with current students on line or by phone. Not only will the prospective student gain valuable information about what the colleges are "really" like, simply deepening one's knowledge and understanding of other schools will reduce the power of the perfect college myth and increase the odds of a happy outcome—no matter where the student gets in.